HARLINGEN, TX -
Harlingen area resident Robert Small can't believe it's not Friday already. "I mean, come on!", Small exclaimed in a recent interview. "It's like Monday all the time!"
"Mr. Small's frustrations are most likely borne from his overzealous anticipation for that magic time of five o'clock on Friday afternoon", reports local psychologist, Dr. Dan Weber who was retained to diagnose Small's wild behavior. Additionally, Dr. Weber stated that in his professional opinion, Small may also be suffering from a dangerously high level of caffeine in his system from imbibing at least three times the legal limit of energy drinks and coffee during the course of the work week. "This is not uncommon for many people in Mr. Small's position however", Dr. Weber continued. "After all, a great many people want it to be Friday." He might just really want to get some down time, like some of us, or perhaps he has plans for the weekend. Maybe he's got a date. Who knows for sure? I don't think anyone can figure that guy out for certain."
Based on a recent national survey of 1093 working participants from 21 states, 100% also expressed some heightened desire for the week to end. So, Small's symptoms do not seem all that uncommon according to survey results. "It's going to take more research," Dr. Weber concedes, "but I'm willing to bet we are on to something big. Short of the invention of some time travel device, which would be totally awesome, it would seem that Mr. Small along with the rest of the population that shares this same syndrome will just have to wait for Friday like everyone else."
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