Registration of "Baker" Domain Names Spiking.

SCOTTSDALE, AZ -


David Witherspoon, spokesman for domain registration giant GoDaddy.Com released a statement today noting that in recent days the company has seen a huge spike in the registration of domain names using both a single digit number and the surname, 'Baker'.

As for the cause, Witherspoon could not say for certain. "We do occasionally see a unique spike in some particular types of domain name registrations," Witherspoon said. "Usually those domain selections can be traced to some kind of current event or celebrity. This new crop just makes no sense at all." Many high level executives with the company have speculated that it might be some kind of new fad that has up to this point remained just under the radar. "I mean what can possibly be so attractive about BakerTwo.Com?" Witherspoon remarked. "I'm sure one Baker is more than enough for just about anybody."

Bob Parsons, CEO of GoDaddy.Com commented on the strange spike on his daily blog. "Baker whatever dot com. Who cares?", Parsons wrote. "For me, I really don't care why we are seeing such a spike. All I know is that it's more money for my company, for me and for my girlfriend Danica Patrick." Parsons went on to say, "Danica is so incredibly hot. She is totally wrecking my race car dot com all the time."

As for now, GoDaddy.Com officials are prepared for an even higher influx of 'Baker' domain registrations. "We can easily handle the increased traffic, no problem," Witherspoon assured. "We are already planning an enormous corporate celebration when all the available [Baker.com] domains are reserved. Dude, we are totally going to party like it's Baker1999(.com)."

Bill for 68 Cents Goes Unpaid Again

HARLINGEN, TX -


A bill for exactly 68 cents from Time Warner Cable again went unpaid this month by a local Harlingen man.

 "I'm not going to pay it. And I still can't believe how much postage and paper they have already wasted on sending this notice to me each month," frustrated bill recipient Anthony Dryer said Saturday.

The bills for 68 cents began arriving at the Dryer household over 15 months ago after a miniscule increase of some fees related to the Dryer's basic cable subscription. "I didn't ask for more fees and I totally don't agree to the increase. Where do they get off?", Dryer asked rhetorically. Since the inception of the new charges Dryer reports that he has simply paid the full amount, minus the additional fees. "It's about pride", Dryer said. "It's about my personal fight against the Man. This is my moment to sit at the front of the bus."

Of course, there is the small potential of service disconnection due to failure to pay and the chance that Dryer's wife Paula will eventually take notice of the bill and pay it herself. Dryer is not deterred. "I live by the motto that if you let yourself get pushed around, you deserve what you get." Dryer continued to remark that they had better not start charging late fees on the outstanding amount because it will just backfire sending him 'over the edge'. "They don't want to make me any more upset than I already am," Dryer warned making crude explosion-like noises with his mouth and wild hand gestures.

"It is my stand that they get with the program and figure out that there is no way I am paying," Dryer concluded. "If they think they are going to win this fight, they have another thing coming." Dryer did however concede that if the situation became too much of a stress on the family, he'd switch to Dish 'for the children.'

Area Father Openly Demands $350 Ipod for Father's Day

Harlingen, TX -
 


Father's Day is right around the corner and children of all ages are scrambling to find the perfect gift for Dad's special day. One area father is hoping to hit the jackpot.

Thomas Lane, father of two girls, ages 10 and 5 has been dropping unsubtle hints for the past three months about his desire to get a $350.00, 120 gigabyte Ipod Classic as a present from his children. "I've told everyone it's the only thing I want." Lane went on to say how he certainly deserves to get it with all the screaming, fighting and general carrying on he has to deal with on a day to day basis. "I'm like, worth it, you know? Besides I'm sure they have enough saved up in their piggy banks to cover it. I've seen those birthday checks the get from their grandparents."

Lane has owned an 80 gigabyte Ipod for over a year and is rarely seen without it. Lane's wife Lou Ann is attempting to take a more pragmatic approach. "He has one already for God's sake. I can't for the life of me imagine what he could possibly want with another one. I already told him that we could go out and eat at the Outback and I'd buy him some credits on iTunes or something. What more can I do? Those things are way too expensive. It's just plain ridiculous."

Lane acknowledges the uphill battle, however he says that should he not receive the Ipod, things around the house will, 'not be pleasant' for some time to come and that he will be decidedly 'grumpy' unless he gets his way. Lane also alluded to a series of passive aggressive behaviors that would result such as turning the air conditioner up to 80 degrees instead of 78 during the day and 'forgetting' to wash the car for at least two weeks. "It's time I got some respect around here", Lane said.