Harlingen Man's Credit Score and Cholesterol Level Both 300

Harlingen, TX -

Mark Wright, a local telemarketing representative and long time out of shape, shiftless consumer of both wildly unhealthy foods and outrageously expensive electronics learned Wednesday that both his credit score and cholesterol level are now exactly 300.

After a lunch of two Whoppers and a 32 ounce chocolate shake from a local Burger King, a visit to his doctor to determine the 'mysterious' cause of ongoing chest pains unveiled the first of the two discoveries.  The results of a comprehensive blood test and physical examination confirmed that not only did Wright have a terrifyingly high cholesterol count, but that he was at the very least hypertensive, anemic and in the early stages of Type 2 Diabetes.

The news was not well received by Wright who has been known to place any number of cheeseburgers in a blender along with half a bottle of mayonnaise, blend for five minutes then proceed to drink the resulting chunky liquid-like substance through a straw 'for the fun of it'. He angrily denied the test results while his physician loudly and urgently ordered him to change his lifestyle habits immediately. The doctor continued to warn that without decisive action his health would continue to deteriorate  to a point where recovery would be nearly impossible. Several dietary recommendations were made that included the consumption of foods whose natural environment was not a wrapper stamped with an image of a clown, but given his well established disregard for his own well being, it is not known if Wright will ever seriously consider his doctor's life saving advice.

Wright has had a remarkably poor history of managing his credit just as badly as his health.  In 2009 for example, he signed up for more than twelve different credit cards and then immediately set out to run the cards up to their limits within hours of receiving them.  Bose Wave radios, vintage 8 track players and Fender amplifiers are just a few of the high priced items that Wright felt were 'absolutely necessary' to his happiness despite having no electricity in his apartment thanks to failing to pay his electric bills for eight months. Wright's credit line was also used  to purchase every item for sale in the March 2008 copy of Sky Mall, at least two times within the same week and nearly six months ago he bought $2,600 worth of flying lessons even though he owns no airplane and has been previously diagnosed with a severe and as yet untreated case of acrophobia.

Since Wright's out of control credit card spending has left him deeply in debt with interest charges piling up, any plans to reduce his balances have been completely dismissed and he has begun to fall hopelessly behind in making even the most minimum of payments.  As a result, his credit just like his body has been mortally wounded. So it should have come to no surprise to Wright when he opened his mailbox later in the day to find the credit notification letter from TransUnion which indicated his newly reduced score. 

The impact of the day's activities then culminated with the consumption of a twelve pack of Twinkies and a quart of strawberry milk. Wright then sat alone in the dark weeping softly while gently cradling his $3,500 Alienware Aurora m9700 high performance notebook computer for approximately three hours until he eventually passed out.

Five Minute Purchase of Rush Tickets Results in Nine Hours of Illegal Music Downloading

Harlingen, TX -

The five minutes Jeff Garcia spent online last May purchasing tickets to an upcoming Rush concert resulted in nearly nine hours of illegally downloading every song the group has ever released.

Garcia, a casual Rush fan for about three or four months after the release of the Power Windows album in 1985, has not listened to a single Rush song in its entirety for almost five years and has on several occasions changed the radio station if a Rush tune was playing. Prior to the massive downloading spree Garcia had not even a single Rush song among the almost 4000 selections on his Ipod and no friend or family member was interviewed that would have ever considered him a fan.  Yet after learning by random chance that Rush would be playing in San Antonio as part of their Time Machine Tour, Garcia signed onto a well-known concert ticket website and bought two tickets to attend the September 23rd concert.  The reasoning behind the purchase is as yet, completely unknown.

Immediately after the sale was completed, Garcia logged into his LimeWire account and began what would be a marathon search and downloading session the likes of which he hadn't embarked since the 2009 six hour Great Michael Jackson Search which had been spurred in large part due to the singers untimely death.  Garcia initially struggled to remember the titles to the lesser known Rush tracks, but quickly consulted Wikipedia for album listings and other information that proved useful in his assault then got to work.

As was expected, the most famous songs such as Tom Sawyer, Red Barchetta, Working Man, and others were easy to come by and quickly snatched up.  Unfortunately, since the LimeWire service is based on a peer to peer style network of individual users some selections were either unavailable or attempts to download were unsuccessful.  Eventually, Garcia's patience won out.  Using a clever combination of partial spelling or complete misspelling of a number of tracks Garcia was capable of obtaining a sizable portion of the Rush catalog eventually compiling an amazing array of music encompassing more than thirty years.  He would even come back to a song title hours later and try again, meeting with success only after multiple attempts.  His drive and dedication to purpose guaranteed his ultimate triumph. Once Garcia completed the epic task, he leaned back in his chair, yawned and turned off his computer.  Looking forward to catching up on Rush's last nine studio albums plus maybe rocking out to the classics once or twice, Garcia planned to upload his new and quite illegally begotten jams to his Ipod the very next day.

Now four months later and despite his initial plans,  Garcia has only listened to about eight or ten of the dozens of tracks now at his fingertips and only really added Ghost of a Chance, Middletown Dreams, Mystic Rhythms and 'maybe' 2112 to his Ipod although he can't remember for sure. With the concert date only six days away, Garcia is not convinced that he will actually get around to building a lasting appreciation for the varied style, timeless contributions and rich musical history of the Canadian progressive rock trio although he is still willing to give it a shot; at least right after he finishes downloading the latest Lady Gaga for his twelve year old daughter.