Thursday, March 17, 2011

Hi, Welcome to Cici's! Will You Please Kill Me Now? by Sydney Olvera

GUEST EDITORIAL:  Sydney Olvera is a college student and employee at Cici's Pizza in Harlingen.

Hi! Welcome to Cici's! Yep, if you've ever been to Cici's Pizza, you have heard that mantra shouted repeatedly during your visit. It's how we let you know that you are welcome and everyone knows that hearing random people shout the same thing over and over again is just what makes for a warm and memorable dining experience; at least that's what they train us to believe in this place.

Now, I don't wish to be ungrateful for the seven bucks and hour they pay me to keep the pizza bar stocked, but the mental health benefits  are an insult when one considers this mandatory yelling each employee is forced to repeat when faced with a Cici's guest whether real or imagined. How can the owners of this mediocre pizza chain expect it's guests and employees alike not to eventually lose it and burn the place down just to end this madness?  Day after day, night after night it's like a bizarre mind-control experience akin to MK Ultra and the whole Manchurian Candidate thing from the 1960's.  I only know that because I heard some random pizza customer mentioned it about ten minutes before he threw Chuck the cashier through the plate glass window three months ago.  Seems like he might have had a point.

So, the next time you come over to Cici's, I'm sure the whole crew will be shouting Hi! Welcome to Cici's!  I just can't promise that someone won't die as a result.