Taking his direction from the front of a box of Pasta Roni, 73 year-old area resident Burt Myers will enthusiastically comply and add meat to the contents of the $1.29 package of Parmesan cheese-flavored noodles and seasoning tonight.
Mr. Myers has a long and storied history of taking the advice of labels presented on products and is proud of blindly following the recommendations he encounters regularly without question or hesitation.
"I believe it is a very important element of managing my life by doing whatever is printed on the products I buy. Whether that be a box of noodles or a bottle of shampoo. It's how I stay centered. If it wasn't for my benefit, why would they put those words there in the first place?" Myers said. "If a box tells me to add meat, by God I'm going to add meat. If it says, lather-rinse-repeat I'm going to follow through until the entire bottle is empty. End of story."
Thanks to the thoughtful placement of suggestions on products, Myers feels that he has lived a richer, more meaningful life in which he has been allowed to be freed from many decisions he would have otherwise had to make on his own. "These product manufacturers understand my needs," Myers concludes. "I can't imagine what a shambles things would be for me if I was forced to stand over my stove and ponder my choices. I don't like to think about it."
Plans have already been made to add chicken tomorrow night as directed by another box of Pasta Roni.
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