Allen Fox opened a recently purchased DVD box set on Wednesday afternoon to begin what he planned as an exciting, eleven hour Psych season four marathon only to discover that three of the four discs were missing.
After staring at and considering the nearly empty box for a moment he then firmly laid blame on his former housekeeper despite the fact that she has not worked for the retired, 77 year old former bible salesman since April and moved to Michigan a short time after leaving his employment.
The housekeeper in question is 44 year old Mari whose last name was never learned, who apparently had six or ten children or something like that and lived in a van down by the river, according to Fox. She was also said to have appreciated Cheese Nips and things that were easily concealed. The DVD set purchased in early August is just the latest victim of the housekeeper's supposed thieving ways. Since her final departure last Spring, she has been accused of stealing a 20 year old cassette player, a pair of headphones, a gallon on milk, one blue sock, one black sock and about 74 cents in change that Fox swears he 'just left right there on the counter five minutes ago.' Although he suspected that things were being stolen by Mari while employed, Fox has yet to discover what exactly, if anything was taken. He is certain, however that she somehow continues to steal things from him on an almost daily basis even though he hasn't seen her for almost six months.
Communication had been an ongoing problem during her three week stint as Fox's housekeeper. Mari was finally terminated soon after the non-Spanish speaking Fox finally became fed up with her failure to understand essential phrases in English such as 'clean the grout in the shower' or 'stop looking at me like that.' Both of which she would never do. His patience had been wearing thin for a number of days before the termination as well thanks to Mari routinely blasting novellas at full volume while she ironed his clothes. Fox attested that he clearly pointed at the television and wagged his finger at her on numerous occasions expressly forbidding its use. The ongoing mystery will certainly be a preoccupation for Fox well into the foreseeable future since there seems to be no shortage of items that Mari won't steal from him. Fox's immediate plans are to take additional precautions such as the placement of at least 30 rat traps in main hallways and near doors to help alert him of the housekeepers presence in addition to keeping the phone with him at all times and the local Border Patrol on speed dial.
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